It's best not to ask..

So, Rob and I were texting, and this is how it went..

Rob: Haha yeah..
Me: whats with the dots? lol
Rob: I dunno lol they have a mind of their own
Me: oh, so they just like 2 pop up randomly? without consent? without warning? lol
Rob: Ya they are douche bags like that..lol
Me: r u just gonna take that shit?
Rob: Yeah lol they are funny :)
Me: do they crack jokes all the time? cuz id put up with that shit 2 if they did that.
Rob: Lol yeah they are the life of the party
Me: r they the kind of dots that bring the beer?
Rob: Hell yes!
Me: wow.. those dots r the shit
Rob: Haha i know right?
Me: im kinda jealous now.. all my dots do is drop hints, and add suspense
Rob: Haha i guess i'm just a partier
Me: i guess so, lol
Rob: Lol dam i'm awesome
Me: i know. yer sexy, yer awesome. youve got it, man
Rob: Haha for sure! :)
Me: u r so cool.. i wanna b just like u when i grow up..
Rob: Haha whatever


I heart this boy.. =]

My Donnie Darko

I should have seen it when we were together.
The signs were there, but I was blind.
There was something wrong; I could tell by the way you became silent.

You wouldn't look at me.
You wouldn't talk to me.

It was like you weren't even there.
Like you were in a trance.
You were in a whole new dimension, a totally different world.

I could feel a darkness come off of you.

It scared me.
I didn't know what to think.
I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to do, and I was scared.

The distance slowly became apparent.
I no longer knew who you were.
You wouldn't talk to me.
You pulled away, and you ran for your life, and that was it.


There we were again.
We were talking again.
Things were looking up again.

And then all was lost again.
You had left again.
You left me again.

But I should have seen it.
It all added up, but I couldn't do the math.

You were my Donnie Darko.

So, this kid is going to prom..

Yeah, it's true. Me, Carrera Holden, the one who's against dances and stuff of that sort, is going to prom.

But I'll be completely honest; I'm so excited!

I went out looking for dresses, which was a weird concept for me, ha ha. Haven't found anything yet. But, I want a fairly simple black dress, with red accessories to match my tattoo.

I decided today that I wanted to go.. I asked Nick, and he said yeah, so I'm pretty excited. He's like my best friend, so there's no pressure.

It's going to be righteous. It's a once in a lifetime thing, so I felt like I needed to go.

But anyways, I just thought I'd share. =]

What I hate about you.

I hate how I can't erase you.
I hate how I feel like I'm able to move on, and then you come up again.
I hate how I still think about how happy you made me.
I hate how I'm still attracted to you.
I hate how you cross my mind.
I hate how you kill me inside, but I don't mind it.

I hate how you smile, and how it makes me melt.
I hate your voice, and how calm it is.
I hate your eyes, and how gorgeous they are.

I hate how I hate you.
I hate how I want to leave you behind.
I hate how I try to make you move on too.

But most of all, I hate how I still love you..

.....

Hmm... how to describe it..

Well..

You let me violate you
You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you

(Help me)
I broke apart my insides
(Help me)
I've got no soul to sell
(Help me)
The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself

I wanna fuck you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God

You can have my isolation
you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
you can have my everything

(Help me)
Tear down my reason
(Help me)
It's your sex I can smell
(Help me)
You make me perfect
Help me become somebody else

I wanna fuck you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God

Through every forest, above the trees
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
You are the reason I stay alive