Hopes and dreams..

Last night, before I went to bed, I was laying in my bed thinking, which is what I usually do right before bed. It helps me sleep better, because I think a lot; I think about everything, and anything. Random thoughts and whatnot.

Well, last night I was thinking about when I become famous with the band. I wonder how I'll act.. Whether I'll be a snob, or if I'll actually act like I said I would; like fame is no big deal. I don't necessarily want to be famous, but I want to get my music out there. "When I'm a rockstar.."

I hope I'm not one of those famous people who don't give a rip about how I treat other people; "I'm better than you.. you're lucky to even been able to lay eyes on me..." Stuff like that.

I want to be the kind of celebrity who lets all my fans add me on myspace, or facebook, and I want to actually talk to them. I don't want a myspace or facebook moderator who talks to my fans for me. That's where fame goes too far. I want to be real. I want to hang out with my fans after shows. Screw autographs! I'm just a regular person! But if I become famous, and a fan wants an autograph, then they're getting an autograph. No questions asked.

I wonder how I'll act if I'm getting bashed on by the paparazzi. If I do, then who cares, but I'll never know until it actually happens.

I don't want to be one of those celebrities who owns 600 cars, just because I can, and own 45 houses.. in different countries.. just because I can. I don't want to flaunt that stuff. I find that quite ridiculous..

So, I wonder how I'll be if it happens.. I hope I'll be cool. I hope I'll be real.

SLEEP deprived

I didn't get any sleep last night.. actually, the past few months, my sleep has been really weird. Sometimes I'll sleep great, and other times I feel like I'm an insomniac.

The weird dreams I keep having don't help, but what can a girl do?

Anyways.. just needed to vent about sleep. I'm doing pretty good besides that fact. Haven't practiced with the band much, but I've enjoyed "me" time. I've been catching up on art this summer. I've also been cleaning out, and organizing my rooms. I've been going through all my old stuff, and throwing things away; I guess I'm kind of preparing for when I move out.

It's crazy seeing all my old stuff; brings back a lot of memories. All my notes from back in junior high, my punk rock attire, my Mortal Kombat stuff.. good times!

I'm thinking I'm going to get a job when school starts. I want to enjoy my last summer vacation. I'm kind of excited to get a job.. but I'm not excited for the name tag, ha ha! People will be like, "what's your name?" and they'll say off-the-wall variations of it, to which I'm going to laugh at.

Whatever I guess.

The end.

I want to marry Kyle Sibert. True story.

I watch these guys all the time. I love them. This is one of their recent videos.. This would be me and Brandon for sure, ha ha!!




Mmmmm.. Kyyyyyle.. Ha ha!!

Throwing up.

Yeah, I won't go into that whole experience, ha ha!


Anyways.. I'm pretty excited for the Mudvayne concert.. I know everybody who knows me have already heard this about a squillion times.. (I used "squillion" just for Katie, ha ha!)

Well, I'm stoked, the end.

Peace out, Rock on


Chazzy Chaz Hetfield

Oh man.

I bought a ticket for the Mudvayne and Static-X concert yesterday. I'm pretty much stoked beyond belief. Yeah. I got a floor ticket so I can mosh again! Good times, let me tell you what.

I also got a lot done on my Trent Reznor picture. I told myself I'd get it done by the end of the school year.. That didn't happen, obviously. It's starting to come together quite well. I'm stoked to get it finished.

I've noticed that I say stoked a lot. It's kind of ridiculous.. I think I say ridiculous a lot too, ha ha! Me and my silly words and whatnot.

Anyways, I'm off to draw some more.