Dear Christian,

I got up too early today, so at about 12, I decided to take a nap. I kept waking up though because my dad was working in the shop, so I heard every noise coming from there.

I finally got to where I was used to hearing the noises. But I wish I would have just gotten up the last time I was startled awake by a noise in the shop..

I had a dream. A dream about Christian.

I had sent him a message about something on Myspace, just to try to be friendly again.. but then I saw him sitting kind of overhead from me. He had a book in his hand. He opened it up, and told me that he had written about my life in an incredible way.

As he sat and explained, the song "Let It Be" by The Beatles started playing. Then he started to read. As he was reading, the song still played, but I could no longer hear him talking. All I could hear was the song, and the sound of me weeping.. I could actually feel the pressure on my chest as if I was really crying, but I was very much asleep..

He kept reading on, and the music still played. I just looked up at him, and kept crying. There was nothing more to the dream. The pressure on my chest was still there, still seeming like I was really crying..

And then I woke up. I laid in my bed for a few moments and I was panting like I was just crying. I felt my face for tears, and there were none. As I sat there, I briefly thought about the dream, and then started crying..

I cried for about ten minutes. A real, hard cry..

I have no clue what to think about it..


Even though I'm mad at him for pushing me away, I still love him to death. I'd still do anything for him.

He's furious with me, and doesn't care about me, but I'm still there for him. I will always be. Being in a band draws you very close to your members, even if you don't realize it..

This whole thing was really hard for me to write.. still raw in my memory since it happened a half an hour ago.. don't know what to think, but I know that was in my top five for worst dreams..

I feel like I need another nap after that.