Him.

My phone is ringing; the first couple times I try to answer, I end up hanging up on you. I'm half asleep, hence it's 3 in the morning. But it was you calling. A drunk call nonetheless, but it was you. You needed a ride home.. I was hesitant to give one to you, since it's been over a year since I had seen you last.. weird. Just plain weird.

But I gave in.

The whole way over to where you were at, in my head, I was practicing what I was going to say to you when I saw you. There were many options:

"Thanks asshole for waking me up."
"I never woulda' thought that after over a year of not seeing you, I'd be picking you up drunk from Sheri's."
"I haven't seen you in a year, but here I am. And how dare you be drinking.. without me."

I chose the latter.

You get in the car, and I say my rehearsed line.. a laugh came out from both of us. The same laugh I was crazy about. This time more intense since you were drunk. But then there was a silence for a second. Yet, that second seemed like a minute. It was like we were both remembering the old times. You broke the silence with a smart ass comment against my driving, but then said you were jealous that I could drive a stick.

On the way back to your place, we both were distracted, and kept missing the correct place to turn. But, we eventually got there. We sat in the car for a bit.. in my head, I was begging you to ask me inside. And that you did.

We enter the house very quietly, and you stop for a minute to show me what you learned on the piano.. then we went to your room. You closed the door, told me to sit right on down onto your bed, and that I did.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of you.

You sat down next to me, and we started to talk; it was time to catch up, since it had been so long. You tell me my hair looks good short, and I tell you that you look good, muscle wise. Then you ask if it would bother me if you changed into your shorts. And you stripped right in front of me; not completely naked, but you got to a point where you were only in boxers. The whole time you took your clothes off, time slowed down. I turned away slightly. The sight of your abs, nipple piercings, and happy trail had excited me.. I remember all of it..

After you got your shorts on, you sat back down beside me. Then you asked if you could have a hug, and you gave me the biggest hug I've felt in a long time.

We talked about our past, looked at old pictures, and at one point, you went through the apologetic stage, and cried a little.. broke my heart.. You were almost sobered up by this time. But it was nice to know it was all real. The feelings, everything.

When it was time for me to head off, you stopped me by grabbing me, and not letting go.. this time, the hug was stronger.. like if you let go, that would be the end of you.. and I think for a moment, it was.. You wanted to kiss me. I knew that from the get-go. I could see it. The way you would look at me. Like you put me under your spell again..

You walk me out to my car, give me one last hug, and slowly let go of me.. you open my door for me, say one last goodbye, and walk into the house. Then I drove away..

I've been with other guys since you. But none had given me the same incredible feeling you did. My heart raced the whole time I was around you; it was like that when we were together. With the other guys, that never happened.. never.

I wish I knew what it was.. I never realized how badly I missed your touch until I felt it again. I am truly addicted. And now that I got my fix, I'll be craving more.. I'm still addicted to you.

You still have my heart, love. You have this whole time..