Time marches on, and on, and on...

Still haven't done tutoring yet, kinda glad. I don't exactly know why I don't want to do it, just seems dumb to me,... I guess. I went to counseling, thank God. I got everything off my chest, and I could notice a difference in how I was feeling. I've realized more than ever that I keep inching closer and closer to graduation. I'm out of the house in merely 2 years, and I can't wait.

I'll get out of the hell-hole I'm in right now. I'm thinking about my future, and it is kind of scary to me, but I'll be free from the ball and chain I'm attached to right at this point.

I got to see my love on Saturday, that put me in a good mood. He was kinda quiet, not really himself, but I got to see him, that's all that matters. He has a condition called 'Ulcertive Colitis' and it makes him tired. He's been in the hospital various amounts of times for it too. He is sick a lot, so I don't get to see him a lot because of it, but texting is a constant for us.

I've decided that if we were to get married and have a kid, our kid would not only be named after Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers, but would have many medical problems, between Jordan's ulcertive colitis, to my anxiety, plus many more problems.

In conclusion to Jordan and I, I had lost one of my greatest, most caring and funny friends, Kalob. Kalob was a good friend of Jordan's too, so they got along. See, I had liked Jordan for a long time, and when we started going out, Kalob began to be a jerk to me. He was cool to Jordan, but resentful to me. I know that he wouldn't just randomly be a jerk to me, we were too good of friends. I came to the conclusion that he was jealous of Jordan.

Kalob liked me, that is all there is to it.

He stopped talking to me, and there was nothing I could do. Our friendship had just ended last week, and that was it. Kalob was cool to Jordan, Jordan would tell me, but being the great, protective, sweet boyfriend he is, he wouldn't talk to him until he talked to me, until he decided to be respectful to me...

Nothing happened, so I lost my friend.


What can I do... I've lost the only other friend who could make me laugh all the time, and I lost him to something as stupid as this...